A Hard Part of Being a Parent

I love being a dad to four beautiful, wonderful children.  Like every parent though, some days are easier than others.  Yesterday had one of those difficult moments.  The good thing about difficult moments is that they can be teaching moments if handled properly.  Here is the scene from yesterday.  Eli, our oldest, has some chapped lips.  He asked for chap stick.  He thought it was out in our van, which is generally a pretty good guess.  So he put his shoes on and ran out to the van.  When he came in he announced, “I used it and put it right back.”  That statement set off some bells in my and my wife’s head.  The question I wanted to ask was, “who are you and what did you do with my Eli?”  However, very calmly Diana asked Eli, “why didn’t you bring it in?”  He then calmly turns around and goes back out to the van.  Just a minute or so later it happened.  Our seven year old son comes back into the house balling his eyes out.  As he burst through the door he made a pronouncement, “mommy, daddy I lied.”  Crying almost uncontrollably at this point, he and Diana went into our bedroom to talk.  After a few moments of discussion, Diana and I had a talk with one question, do we punish him further?  Obviously this little fella was hurting and heart broken over what he did.  I told Diana I didn’t think we had a choice, he needed some further consequences because he did knowingly, willingly lie.  I thought it was great that his conscience bothered him enough to cry about it and tell on himself, but we needed to lovingly demonstrate to him that all of our actions have consequences, and simply feeling sorry over something isn’t enough.  Therefore, Diana and I talked with Eli again and let him know what his consequences were, but we also explained why we were doing it.  I have to admit, that was one of the hardest moments as a parent.  In my head, I know that what we did was right and that it was necessary.  But in my papa heart, I felt heart broken because he was crying, sad, and just so upset.

I imagine that our Heavenly Father feels much the same if not a deeper burden when we sin against Him.  If sin is so terrible that it took the blood of a sinless Savior for us to be forgiven, yet God loved us so much that He was willing to pay that price, I can’t imagine He enjoys watching the poor choices of all mankind.  The verse that we used with Eli and have with our other boys, the verses I have even preached on were Proverbs 3:11-12, “My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”  God disciplines us not out of anger, but rather out of love.  He wants us to remember what it felt like to have these consequences, in hopes that the next time we are tempted to sin against Him, we would remember and turn away.  Discipline is never fun, but it is necessary.  I would love to have the knowledge that Eli nor any of the other children will ever mess up again, because of the consequences, but then again I know better than that.  It still doesn’t change my love for Eli, Noah, Caleb, or Cataleyah.  I may not always like what they choose to do, but I do always love them.  Where did I learn that?  My Heavenly Father taught me and continues to teach me (1 John 4:9, 18-20).

By His grace and through His strength may we live for Him