Have you ever been hurt by someone or feel betrayed by them? In your hurt that was masquerading as anger, did you want to get back at them? These are normal human emotions. The problem is, they are also sinful. Jesus would say in the Gospel of Matthew that it points to the fact that we have hate in our heart. That is a “you” problem, not a “them” problem. Maybe they did do something to hurt you, or treat you despicably. We want to feel justified in our reactions and desires to get event, but no amount of rationalization or justification will add up to us being justified in getting even. David knew this, and this is why he didn’t listen to his men while they were in the cave. Today’s text is a conversation between David and Saul, after David had an opportunity to take Saul out, but refused to do so. Both Saul and David were in the same cave, David saw Saul, but Saul didn’t see David. To David’s men, God had given David the opportunity to take Saul out. David’s men even thought that David would have been justified in doing so. Yet, David resisted them and probably his own urge to take care of the one who was seeking to take his life. In doing this, David showed godly restraint and patience. David knew that one day he was going to be king of Israel, but he also knew this wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen. This is why we see David say to Saul, “Let the Lord judge between you and me, and let the Lord avenge me on you. But my hand shall not be against you” (1 Sam. 24:12). David made a choice to trust in God’s timing, not his own.
What about you and I? How often do we want to get back at someone who hurts us? Sometimes, we have been hurt so much and not allowed God to heal us, that we start to have the attitude that we are going to get others before they can get us. One of the scariest parts of bitterness in our heart is how fast it can take hold, and just what it will allow us to rationalize and justify doing to someone. This is why Paul told us in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to “bring every thought captive to Christ.” Paul instead tells us in Romans 12:19-21, “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. Therefore, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” The idea of “heaping coals of fire on their head” is that when they realize they have hurt you, they will expect you to retaliate; then when you don’t, it takes the potential guilt you would have felt for getting even, and it is thrown on them, because they realize what they did was wrong. Unresolved hurt leads to anger which leads to bitterness which leads to wrath. You can’t control how others will treat you or what they will say about you, but you can control how you react, and how you treat them. So, what can you do if you have unresolved hurt or it has progressed to anger, bitterness, or wrath?
First, you need to acknowledge that you are hurt or you are bitter. The worse thing we can do is to try and pretend that what happened, didn’t actually happen. Second, you need to pray and confess it. Stop trying to justify your anger or your reaction, there is no excuse for it. In your prayer, you also need to ask God for help in forgiving the person, loving them, and serve them. This is not within our human capabilities. To forgive, love, and serve them requires a holy, gracious, forgiving, and loving God to work in us and through us. Next, you need to lay the burden of hurt, anger, and bitterness down. This goes hand in hand with praying. In most cases, it won’t be a one time prayer of laying the burden down. You will have to lay it down multiple times, maybe multiple times in the same day. Finally, you need to go do what the Lord has told you to do. Go love them, serve them, and give them the benefit of the doubt. It won’t be easy, but it will be a powerful example to them, to your family, and to those around you of the power of God. The world is looking desperately for something different than what it already has and is experiencing. So, in Jesus’ name and in His power, let’s show them something different.
By His grace and for His glory,
Pastor Justin