We live in a uber-sexualized society. I know that isn’t a groundbreaking statement, but it is an alarming one. Either currently airing or soon to be airing are three new “reality” shows that chronicle nudists. ESPN the magazine has just released its annual “body” issue in which high profile athletes pose in the nude. This is simply continuing the trend in our country to normalize sexual sin. I’m not just talking about homosexuality, I’m talking about normalizing gender identity, in which people claim God messed up and made them the wrong sex. We are talking about cohabitation. We are talking about heterosexual sexual relationships outside of marriage. In some ways television is subtle in what it is doing. One example of this is a television network owned by ABC. It is called ABC Family. The slogan of the network is “a new kind of family.” At first glance that seems to be innocent enough until you begin to look at some of the shows and content of the shows that they put on this station. The federal government for years has claimed “abstinence only education doesn’t work.” They are right, but one of the prime reasons it isn’t working is because when children turn on the television they are inundated with sex and the philosophy that “everyone is doing it.” I can still remember what the peer pressures were like in middle school and high school. Yet a new report released about a month ago now says that children have their first sexual encounter in fifth grade. That is elementary school! My oldest son is just two years away from fifth grade. Parents wouldn’t dream (most parents I believe) of sitting down and having a family night of watching porn together, but television isn’t that far from it now. So what do we do about it? Because clearly screaming and shouting at the top of our lungs as many Christians love to do isn’t working.
I believe the church must step up and get front and center in this war. Pastors need to teach on why sexual purity is so important before marriage. Churches need to teach not only the biblical definition of marriage, but how to have a God-honoring marriage and dating life. We need to give our people the tools they need to talk to their children about how to honor God in their thought life and dating life. I realize that the issue of sex in many churches, especially in the South, is a taboo issue. But in the absence of true, godly advice, parents and children are left to either ignore the issue and bury their heads in the sand, or allow someone else to teach their children. And just a warning, those people who teach your children may not have the same values that you do. We are in a cultural war and an all out tug-of-war for our children. The hyper-sexuality of our society has slowly and methodically eroded away the family. If you want proof, go look at the cohabitation numbers. Fewer and fewer people are getting married. We need to ask the question, why? These certainly are not the only reasons, but let me give you a couple. First, most men are physical creatures and with that comes a high sex drive. But many of those same men don’t want to commit to marriage. Therefore, if there is a woman who will live with them and they can feed that sex drive they are willing. Many women desire to feel loved. But like men they are skeptical of marriage, because they know that many men struggle with commitment. So if they can feel loved by someone, and that someone is willing to commit to live with them, then sex is not that high of a price to pay. Essentially both sides are getting what they crave without the strings of commitment that are part of marriage. In other words, the relationship is about meeting their personal needs. Whereas, marriage is truly about meeting your spouses’ needs.
In essence the more “normal” sexual depravity becomes the weaker the family becomes. This is a moral issue, and it demands that the church stand up and speak the truth. Yes we will be criticized and ostracized for it, just go ask Tony Dungy, a committed Christ-follower who spoke the truth and is getting publicly berated over it. But we cannot shrink back from this fight nor can we retreat from it. We must put on the whole armor of God and dig in. I don’t know if we can ever win this fight, but it is a fight worth fighting. Parents, talk to your children about sex when it is appropriate. Monitor what they watch on television. Teach them the Word of God and what it says about sex (God created sex, so it is good within the biblical confines). Set up a contract between your children and yourself on how they will conduct themselves when they begin to date. Help your children discern right from wrong not based on society’s views, but rather based on the timeless truth of the Word of God.
By His grace and through His strength may we live for Him